Fall and Anticipate

The sun was already near the horizon. Three and a half months – that’s all it takes after the sad truth was unraveled. Ineffable feelings had my system preoccupied though I vividly comprehend what was happening. Deep frustration was present. My eyes failed from weeping, I was in torment within. My heart was poured out on the ground when I recalled Cicero’s De Partitione Oratoria. It says there, “Cito enim arescit lacrima praesertim in alienis malis” (Tears for somebody else’s trouble dry quickly). But no! That somebody isn’t just a “somebody” to me. I love her so much that if it’s possible to take her burden right now I’d willingly do it (sounds cliché, but I really mean it). She’s too young but I understand she’s capable of utilizing her gray matter (this wouldn’t happen if she only made use of it. or maybe I was just not there to guide and remind her). Was it my fault? Partly, I guess. Two months ago I sensed that something was far from being pleasant but I kept silent. And when the sad fact was revealed, the persons I love and respect agreed warts and all on a relentless idea that probably wouldn’t end all conversation. I was confounded and tremendously concerned with how they come up with such pernicious plan. I don’t have anybody to fight for what is right until God reminded me that He will fight for me (well, He always did), I need only to be still (Exodus 14:14). And I comprehend. The revelation’s dilatoriness has a glorifying purpose. There would no longer be fatuous decisions and violent acts. Surely, we will be anticipating for the rising of the sun as it brings new hope. And this I learned: Calmness lays great errors to rest.